Queer Edge: A Community for Queers and Allies
I was using the social network Ning to run a queer punks community. However, they decided to start charging for their service. Being the diy punk that I am, I decided to give the corporate gods the middle finger and make my own social site. Thus, Queer Edge was born.
It’s a site for genderqueer, genderfucks, bois, birls, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered, and everyone else. I want it to be a safe space to have community. The forum might change a bit as the future of “Queeries” is up in the air. I also made a space for the minorities of the minorities: queer punks, vegan queers, and straight edge queers.
Help me build community, start, and join the discussion!
The Gender Binary is a form of hierarchy and oppression t-shirt.
Oh yeah. My latest design. Get it here.
Meaning of “Not Gay as in Happy – But Queer as in F*ck You”
For me, the saying is a stand against assimilation and being a socially acceptable gay. It’s about not being an Ellen or a Rachel Maddow that heterosexuals feel safe letting into their homes on their television set. It is about being who you are without regard for needing society’s acceptance.
It’s not safe being queer. I get looks, snide remarks, and was even assaulted. It brings on a different meaning when someone has violated your rights and injured you for being who you are. It’s a “F*ck you” to those people who have a problem with you being queer. It’s a “F*ck yeah” to those who are with you.
It’s distinguishing your queerness from socially acceptable gayness. It’s reclaiming the word “queer” from being an insult to being a badge of honor. It’s about being proud to be here, to be you, to be queer. It’s aggressive, in your face, and punk as f*ck.
With that being said, I have had some people express how they just don’t like the patches because it feels “nasty” however they have never been faced with the nastiness the world dishes forth; the hate, violence, lack of acceptance, and intolerance for merely being yourself for being queer. It’s a stand against injustice and inequality. It’s standing up for who you are in a world that oppresses you. It’s saying “I’m here, I’m queer, and I’m not going anywhere.”
*****
Back patch
Not Gay as in Happy… Queer as in F**k You patches.
Pride is around the corner – and it’s a perfect time for queer punk pride. I managed to track down the creator of the “Not Gay as in Happy – Queer as in F**k you” image and got his okay to start selling patches with it. I am going to try to come up with other queer punk flavored patches and slogans so this is hopefully the first of many. I’ll be listing the patches on ebay under: Queer Punk Backpatch Queercore Not Gay As in Happy lgbt or Queer Punk patch Queercore Not Gay As in Happy lgbt. For now, the links for the back patch (around 12″x16″) is here and for 4″x4″ patch is here.
Cut&Paste Rock&Roll + my article on thenewgay.net!
I went to a party two Friday’s ago. It was in Long Beach called Cut&Paste Rock&Roll. I found out about the event from twitter and it sounded cool so I went to check it out.
When I first got there, it was a rainy night, so I wasn’t sure how much of a crowd there would be. The place was -packed-. Wall-to-wall queers. Queers from all over braved the weather and came out for the party. It was pretty awesome. There were these two guys who were doing airbrush art on people. I got a dragon done on my head. I later got a bleeding heart airbrushed on my freshly shaved head because Nancy recommended it. I saw some people I met at Homo-A-Go-Go. I chatted and had a good time.
I saw some bands played, I don’t remember who they were, but it was fun. I bonded with a queer punk quickly – because we are both queer punks and oh so rare. I sometimes wish I was old enough to have appreciated the queercore movement in the 1990’s. Events like Cut&Paste Rock&Roll give me a taste of what it was like. It must have been great.
I don’t remember when, but some Saturday a few moons ago, I had my first LGBT group lunch meeting. It was okay but I was dealing with gays and lesbians. Not queers. It inspired a piece that I wrote called, “Gay/Lesbian” verses Queer: What’s the Difference? which was published by http://thenewgay.net/.
I met Zack who’s one of the co-founder of the gay newspaper at Cut&Paste Rock&Roll. First, he came over to comment on my sweater: Sheeps being abducted by an UFO = awesome! But then we started talking about queerness and we seemed to agree on things. He asked me to write for him and I said sure. So, go read my article there and leave a comment.
When I finished my article, they asked me to have a picture to go with my writing. So, being an anarcho-queer, I decided to use the pink and black flag. It happened to draw the attention of Bash Back! which is a radical anarcho-queer group that I don’t really agree with. They seem to do things for the sake of being radical and not for the sake of productivity. I try to stay on the fringe of society – associating with the mainstream just enough to try to change it – but not being consumed by it.
I ended up writing two pieces today. One about being a radical queer and another about queercore for The New Gay. I don’t know if they are going to publish them sometime next week or make my column a weekly thing.
I am not having much luck trying to organize and Amnesty International Group out here. I thought a human rights group would be broad enough to draw a little bit of everyone but there’s so much apathy. I think I might start volunteering somewhere local and meet other activist types if they exist out here.
Movie Reviews + What Music I've been listening to. + Being Queer and Straightedge
I saw the movie last night, “Imagine Me and You” and it was really cute. It was a lesbian romantic comedy. Some of the lines from the film were hilarious. “How are we ever going to have grandchildren?” “The turkey baster was invented for a reason.” Haha.
I also recently watched “Food, Inc.”. I think it’s a really important movie and everyone should watch it to be informed about where their food is coming from. It was more focused on the meat industry but it isn’t veggie propaganda. It just shows how the meat industry is. It lifts the veil of what they don’t want you to know.
It’s been awhile since I’ve mentioned anything about music. I’ve been listening to Mischief Brew – which isn’t usually the type of music I’m into – but it’s pretty awesome folk punk. I also bought Refused, The Shape of Punk to Come, and it’s a pretty solid album. I have also been listening to Fagatron which is awesome queercore.
Apart from that, I’ve been thinking about what it means to be straightedge and queer. The center focus of the queer scene is bars. People go to bars to drink. I don’t drink and people usually take it as a personal offense that I don’t. I don’t go around advertising the fact but when someone asks what I’m drinking, I’m not going to lie. I do get to parties early and leave when people start getting too drunk for my taste. I don’t like being around drunks. I just don’t feel comfortable.
It’s almost like being straightedge is anti-queer. Or maybe, just maybe, the queer scene has it wrong. That it shouldn’t be about supporting evil corporations and poisoning your body. I’ve tried a handful of times to build a queer scene without the booze but it just hasn’t worked. I don’t know if it’s because people lack the confidence to be their true selves without intoxication or if there’s just no interest in being sober. I’ve never need substances to have a “good time.” I don’t understand the appeal, but that’s just me.
I have never met another straightedge vegan queer who wasn’t drug-free without a history of past abuse. I am not really all that interested in people who abuse substances or eat meat for dating. I guess that’s the difference between being drug-free and straightedge: is the dislike of substances. Being drug-free is abstaining, but being straightedge is avoiding all association. I am for the legalization of marijuana because it’s not my choice to make other people’s choices for them. But, I don’t want to be around it. That is my choice.
Identity Conflicts
What do you do when your perceived notion of self conflicts with your true self? You thought you knew yourself well and something comes out of left field that completely shatters that theory. Do you evolve or hide? What does it say about you how you react?
For me, an identity conflicted year was when I was 22. I just realized I was a queerling and I always thought myself to be straight. It was part of how I defined myself. It completely shook my foundation. I already establish my identity as what was “me” and “not me.” I thought I had a nice neat package to present to the world when that presentation was wrong. So, faced with this, I accepted that I was a queerling, after a year of being confused by what I was feeling. I suppose I didn’t want to admit it to myself. It wasn’t the fact that I cared whether I was queer or not, it was more the fact that I had “defined” myself and the definition didn’t fit. I am happier for redefining myself and accepting myself for who I am.
Some people don’t accept themselves when they have realizations about their person that they might not like. I think this is the more painful route to take because they are always denying themself from being who they really are. It becomes a matter of keeping up appearances and putting skeletons in the closet. It becomes about acting and being an image rather than being you.
What do you have to lose by being yourself? What do you stand to gain? By denying yourself being yourself, you lose true connections. Everything is fake because it is all an act. Whereas, if you are yourself without holding back, you have freedom to be you. Your connections are real – since there is no inhibitions on your part.
I’ve only been drunk once in my life and I learned from that experience that I wanted to be as free sober as I was drunk. I didn’t want to be dependent on a substance to show my true colors or blame it when something was improper. I wanted to be me – all the time.
I used to play the game with keeping up appearances to be what I thought people wanted me to be and not being myself. I just got to the point I couldn’t handle such fakery anymore. I stopped playing the game. I lost some, gain more, and now I am much happier for it. I can wake up in the morning and face myself for who I am – not who I want to be – I am my ideal self.
It takes a lot of working on yourself to get to the ideal state. But, really, what is more important in this world than working on making yourself the best you can be? So often people settle for an image that is being sold to them rather than figuring things out for themselves. It’s a harder path to take but in the end is much more fulfilling.
What does "Queer" mean to you?
Being “queer” is different than being “gay” or “lesbian.” “Gay” or “lesbian” is a sexual orientation. Queer is more a sociological lifestyle rather than a sexuality (or gender identity). With the mainstream trying to make money off the “gay” and “lesbian” identities they use the word “queer” for marketing value such as “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” or “Queer as Folks” but not really addressing what it’s like to be queer.
For me, being queer is about rejecting heteronormalitivity and mainstream values. It’s not about being a sheep and following into line. It’s about thinking for yourself and being independent. It’s about rejecting societal and cultural norms. It’s about living life as you want to live it rather than being told how to live it. It’s about questioning everything – even yourself to come up with the solution that works best for you.
A current example of my rejection of heteronormalitivity and mainstream culture: my stepsister is downstairs on the couch cuddling her boyfriend while watching a show that makes fun of people. I don’t see how watching a show that makes fun of my fellow human beings to be entertaining since it’s laughing at their expense and not with them. They are so conditioned that they don’t even see that there’s anything wrong with chosen form of entertainment as I hear laughter trailing upstairs. I found something gravely wrong with the mainstream culture and what other people find permissible. I don’t find the misfortune of other’s to be funny. They do it for the sense of fitting in, to be cool, and possibly their minds are just that fucked.
Being queer is about not being fucked up like mainstream society. It’s about being vocal while the masses are silent. It’s about seeing and addressing the problems we face. It’s about having the best parties. 😉 It’s about swimming against the stream rather than going with the flow. For me, part of being queer is how I present myself to the world. I am rather butch, wear a frog bra, have tattoos, piercings, and a mohawk. I don’t “pass” at all. For some people, my mere appearance is a confrontation because I don’t follow gender stereotypes. I get stares, sneers, sometimes verbal assaulted, and once physically assaulted. Violence never solves anything. You can bash my face in but you can’t touch my mind. I won’t stop being queer just because you don’t approve.
I once saw a poster that said, “Not Gay as in Happy, But Queer as in Fuck You.” Queer is about being in your face and getting your hands dirty to change things. It’s not about being political correct. You can also be straight and queer. It’s a mindset and a way of being. It can also be a sexual orientation for those who defy the binary. It’s many things to many people. What does queer mean to you?
