RSS Feed
Mar 18

Re-organization or re-branding of website? + Family

Posted on Friday, March 18, 2011 in Theories

For some time, I felt I give away too much with the header on the blog. People don’t necessary understand my definition of the labels and judge me too quickly. So, I’ve decided to keep things minimalistic and see if that captures people’s interest more. Maybe without judging me first – they’ll read a little something and it might open their heart.

I’ve been reflecting on humanity quite a bit. I am trying to be more tolerant and give people more of a chance myself. I am also seeing more how unwilling people are to give others a chance. I think I scared off a potential date by revealing too much of myself. People say they want honesty but they usually don’t – not for the first six months to a year anyways in relationships. My therapist told me I am one of the rare people when I ask for someone’s opinion, I really want it verses just wanting the person to agree with me which is the rest of the world.

Most of the time, as I’ve noticed listening to metal/punk music – most people are expressing the same emotions but using different language. It’s the language that is creating the barriers. Almost all of us just wants to be loved, play, and enjoy being with our family. We just have different ways of doing that. Besides, if you really think about it, we’re all humans, so everyone is family.

Nov 15

Question: what do you think happens after we die?

Posted on Monday, November 15, 2010 in Theories

Someone asked this on a forum I am on – I answered and I thought I’d share my answer with my readers:

I’m an atheist but I have two ideas. One, what you think will happen is what you’ll get. The reason for this is that we create our own realities – and there’s infinite possibilities of where things can exist. If you exist in one place – you exist everywhere. Therefore, in someone’s belief that “you” are in “hell” there’s some version of “you” occupying that spot because that’s what someone else wishes for you. It might not be “you you” but it will be their manifestation of you, get it? Which is why I personally think it’s horrible that Christians believe people are going to hell because they themselves have judged you and condemned you to eternal suffering.

But, I don’t personally believe in the heaven/hell dynamic. Energy can’t be created or destroyed -only changed. With that idea – our mere mortal perception of space and time is an illusion. Very grid-like and linear. Basically, with the idea if something exists it will always exists in that point in time. Hence, we are immortal since we will forever exist in 2010. I think time travel is possible but not within your own universe – like you can go back in time and end up in a universe full of vegans or something as ever possibility is possible and played out in some alternate reality but not within your own space-time dynamic. But back on topic, what -you- do means another -you- in an alternative universe can’t be the same makeup. This universe would be incomplete without you and everything that happens is supposed to happen. I have a theory of the universe that there’s only two moments: 1 and 0. Basically, I think in the moment “nothing” existed that “Something” was created that caused the big bang. It’s like a flashing light the universe – nothing – something – nothing – something…. it repeats endlessly forever. That theory I came up with goes along with the idea that the universe eventually collapses onto itself and starts anew. So, basically, everyone is both alive and dead at the same time in actuality. You don’t need to fear death because you are already dead – counterwise, you are also alive and immortal. I call this occurrence the foundation of life – I coined the term “Dharma Paradox”. Basically, things exist in paradoxes. For example: without long there can not be short. Everything creates it opposition. It’s paradoxical but true. I believe that non-life created life just as life can create non-life. So, really, there’s some phantom of yourself watching physical you. Here’s the catch – to your physical being – you only live once but you actually have lived for infinite time. You live once but forever. When you die…your energy just changes. Death isn’t death but just another state of growth. We only -view- it as an end because we can’t see what’s beyond. Also, I must throw out that we are all “one.” Basically, everything is energy – we are energy beings. You are energy. You share electrons with things you are close to – everything in this fabric of reality is connected. What you do to others you are really doing to yourself too. Basically, you are everyone and everyone is you. Rock, tree, cow, chicken, oil spill, all good, all evil that has been and was and every will be – all me – and you are me and I am you. Get it? So, you live -once- but you also live countless times as everyone and everything – but your brain just makes you aware of the “physical you” experience. So, where does that leave us in death? “You’ve” been being born and dying for all of eternity – because you are also the universe and the universe is you. Even if your energy becomes something not recognizable as “you” it still is “you”. Get it? You die when the universe dies – only to be reborn to start again repeating the same thing over again! So, maybe when you die you are “Dead – gone, nothing” but that’s not forever because it cycles when the universe collapses onto itself. I mean there might be a “you” gone forever because that’s what that “you” is supposed to be. There is you everywhere and in everything. Death is only an illusion and perhaps a transformation from one state of being to another. For me, personally, I don’t know what will happen to this manifestation of “jess” and I don’t worry about it that much. I’d rather live my life as each day was my last – without regret. I feel as if I am destined for the unknown and I’m okay with it. I don’t fear death or dying – it’s just part of life. With that understanding, I have my peace and realize I am limited by my human brain so maybe if “I” – this bunch of energy, happens to take another form, maybe I’ll comprehend more about reality. Maybe.

I rambled, I hope I made sense. 🙂

Jul 7

Theory of Reality

Posted on Wednesday, July 7, 2010 in Theories

Yesterday, I had a conversation with my friend about the nature of reality. It started with a question from me, “Have you ever felt like everything you’ve done – you’ve done before?” I had a moment of deja vu – rather, I dreamed the moment and it was happening. That happens to me now and then. Sometimes, I feel like life is already scripted and been played out a thousand times before. I tend to fight off nerves by reminding myself if I am speaking or putting on an event that I already done it before so it all works out. In the true sense of how reality works, time and space are dimensions. They are grids on the plot but there is in actuality only one point. Rather, everything and anything that has ever happened or will happened has already occurred and been done but it is because of grid work of time and space it doesn’t all appear to happen at once.

That means that anything that was ever created or will be created already exists. The birth of the universe and the end of the universe are -now-. There is only one moment because everything exists simultaneously. It’s only the illusion of time and space that makes it seems like everything happens at different times. The grid in reality is just one point and everything is crammed together. EVERYTHING.

This creates what I like to call the Dharma Paradox (I coined the term :)) or rather a Truth Paradox. Everything exist and doesn’t exist at the same time. Being creates non-being and non-being creates being. It is true – but it’s paradoxical. My theory of the creation of the universe is that there was nothing but the moment nothing exists, something exists. Nothing is something. Within that moment of nothingness being something, the Big Bang occurs – a flash of consciousness and awareness then it returns to nothing again but then is something, then nothing, than something. Bang after bang for all eternity but there is only one bang and one moment. Thus, the universe is constantly being created and ending. It only happens once but it’s a circle. It ends and begins in the same moment but due to other dimensions we are given the illusion of time and space.

The macrocosm is the microcosm and the microcosm is the macrocosm. Rather, the BIG like the universe exists in it’s entirety in the small (a cell) and the microcosm (cell) is also the entire universe. There is no difference between the two – they both can not exist without each other. The universe wouldn’t be the universe without you in it. It would be like a puzzle missing a piece – still a puzzle but incomplete and not what it was intended to be. There are Parallel Universes – which is just the puzzle with pieces added or taken away since everything exists at the same time. All possibilities and potentials are realized but it is only because of our perception due to the wiring in our brain that we can’t see it. There is in reality nothing but that nothingness creates something and so you have us.

Parallel Universes are not an abstract concept. They exist everywhere. Everyone’s mind is a different universe. In your universe, you are the center. This is scientifically proven because the universe is constantly expanding until it expands back onto itself – but as long as it is getting bigger and bigger, the center of the universe is -always- with you. The center of my universe is me, the center of my bird’s universe is my bird. My bird’s reality and my reality are two completely different realities due to how our brains process things differently. It doesn’t make my reality anymore “true” than my bird’s reality because to both of us – it is our truth.

For example, as being an Atheist, I don’t believe in any gods. I think gods are man-made creations developed by our collective unconsciousness. Gods are dependent on their followers. They use human energy such as chi as food. The strength of a god depends on how many followers/believers/energy it has to feed off of. I am not god food so I don’t put any energy into any god. I do know, however, if I am talking to someone who believes in a higher power that in their reality a God exists. We both exist in the same space, me without god and them with god – and both are correct. God both doesn’t and does exist. Again, a Dharma Paradox. I don’t like to argue the existence of God, as I know we’re both correct. I just don’t want to be god food so I don’t believe in one. If something is true – then at the same time the opposite is true. The whole bases for our reality is the Dharma Paradox.

So, Parallel Universes exist from being to being, human to human, and on a physical scale due to the fact all possibilities are happening at the same time. It’s just an illusion that they aren’t. So, then, if we all exist in a spaceless space and it’s only because of the evolution of our brains that we perceive reality the way we do (and each person’s perception is different so a different universe) when we all don’t really exist – we are all one.

Everything in the universe is a reflection of the universe. There is in actuality only one space that exists and doesn’t exist at the same time. That’s all there is. From this web with no weaver, the interconnectedness is linked to everything. A blade of grass, a drop of water, an atomic bomb, and even poop. It is all you and you are all it. It is only because of our brain wiring that we perceive things the way we do. In reality, everything is you and you are everything. Everything is a mirror of you and you are the mirror of everything.

We are all one. It’s just because of our limited perception we perceive things differently. Everything you do – you do to yourself. Everything you’ve ever done, you do it once but you are also doing it forever. Anything that exists from a thought to physical manifestations might be there for an instant but that instant is forever. Forever exists and doesn’t exist, another Dharma Paradox. True, yes, but also false.

You live the life you have once but that one time is forever. The universe is constantly being born and dying. It happens once but for eternity. You can only be you but -you- are everything. Everything. Reincarnation exists in the sense that all energy is you and you are all energy. Energy can not be created or destroyed – only changed. Energy is all connected. We share energy with things we are close to but you are everything. You are also only you. Another Dharma Paradox. It is only created by your mind.

I consider meat eating to be cannibalism. The reason is because if you are everything and everything is you – you are also that meat you are eating. You are literally murdering and eating yourself. The snail I accidentally stepped on: was me. It didn’t matter to me that it was “only a snail” and doesn’t have the evolved cognitive functions that we have – it mattered because it was life. It can’t ever be replaced. That snail was the only snail like that in the whole universe. How many future of generations of snails did I kill by stepping on it? By stepping on the snail, did I save the world from a snail infestation or will snails become extinct billions of years from now? My dad’s wife had a talk with me that a snail is just a snail but she doesn’t understand. That was me. That was also her. I hurt us on accident. Would you ever want to hurt yourself? It’s a big deal.

All being enlighten is – is the -knowing- and being able to -see- the interconnection of all things. It’s one thing to have someone explain it to you but it’s another thing to live it. It becomes as true as the chair I am sitting in. The chair will still exist whether I believe in it or not. It simply is and isn’t because of the Dharma Paradox.

I don’t and do have past and future lives. I am everyone and everything that is, was, and every will be. So are you. So is everything. We are all one. I am also just me. Dharma Paradox.

If you can change yourself, you really do change the world and the universe. There is no magical “they” there is only us. You and me make the they. We are it. If everyone did their part to make the world awesome – we’d have a beautiful planet. The problem is most people pick to be selfish because of their conditioning. I think if we were to have a change in perception and education we can make a beautiful tomorrow (which really already exists today, we just can’t see it because of our brain).

Jun 28

Humans: Shall we behave as humans or monsters?

Posted on Monday, June 28, 2010 in Theories

Humans are interesting creatures. We have the choice to behave as humans or monsters. Most go with the monster route which is their choice but it’s only their own misery they create. “The problems that you go through are the problems that you make.” – Crass, is a very true statement. Most people opt not to accept responsibility for themselves and their actions – which is their choice, but they suffer greatly for it. Once you realize that the only thing you can control is yourself and how you react – it is a great responsibility to take on but a realistic one. Most people don’t want responsibility – that’s why we have politicians.

Jun 19

Taken from the band Resist and Exist Myspace Blog

Posted on Saturday, June 19, 2010 in Theories

A Wise word from Smash:

Nothing other people do, is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in.

When we take something personally, we make the assumption, that they know what is in our world, and they try to impose their world onto our world.

Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you.

What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds. Their point of view comes from all the programing they received during domestication.

If someone gives you an opinion and says “Hey, you look so fat” or, “Your an asshole,” don’t take it personally, because the truth is that this person is dealing with his or her own feelings, beliefs, and opinions.

Taking things personally makes you easy prey for these predators, the black magicians. They can hook you easily with one little opinion and feed you whatever poison they want, and because you take it personally their emotional garbage becomes your garbage.

When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts.

You make something big out of something so little, because you have the need to be right and make everyone else wrong.

What people say or what people do or what opinions they have are according to the agreements they have made and have nothing to do with you.

It is not important to me what anyone thinks about me, and I don’t take what anyone thinks personally.

I don’t have the need to be accepted, and I don’t have the need for someone to tell me “Smash your doing good” or “How dare you do that!”

Whatever people think, whatever people feel, I know is their problem and not my problem. It is the way they see the world. It’s nothing personal because they are dealing with themselves, not with me.

You may even tell me, “Smash, what you are saying is hurting me”. But it is not what I am saying that is hurting you; it is that you have wounds that I touch by what I have said and you are hurting yourself over your own unresolved issues.

Everyone sees the world with different eyes, with their eyes. You can create an entire picture or movie in your mind and in that picture you are the director, you are the producer and you are the main actor or actress.

Your point of view is something personal to you, it is no one’s truth but yours, if people get mad at you, they are dealing with themselves.

If they use you as an excuse to get mad, it is because they are afraid and are dealing with fear, if your not afraid then their is no way you will get mad at someone. If you are not afraid, there is no way you will hate anyone and if you are not afraid then there is no reason you will be jealous or sad.

Do not expect people to always tell you the truth, because they also lie to themselves.

You have to trust yourself and choose to believe or not to believe what someone says to you. Self reliance is the only way to go!!!

Even if others lie to you, it’s okay, they are lying to you because they are afraid. They are afraid you will discover they are not perfect.

It is painful to take that Social mask off. If other say one thing and do another, you are lying to yourself if you don’t listen to their actions.

But if you are truthful with yourself, you will save yourself a lot of emotional pain.

If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn’t walk away, you surely will endure many years of suffering with him or her.

There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you, when you don’t take things personally.
The whole world could gossip about you and if you don’t take it personally you become immune. When you reject people’s negativity and emotional poison it becomes even worse in the sender, but not in you.

You don’t need to place your trust in what others do or say, you only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. You are never responsible for the action of others, only your own.

If you refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.

Original post is here from Resist and Exist band page.

Jun 18

Some days, The Most You Can Do Is Sew On Patches To Show Discontent.

Posted on Friday, June 18, 2010 in Anarchy, Current Events, Education, Theories

Breathe. Resist.

That’s the best you can do to stay alive and not become one of the living dead. Some days, the most you can do is sew patches to show discontent with society. Discontent is the catalyst for change in men and nations (so said a fortune cookie I got!). I get people who get upset at me sometimes. I mean really upset and confused. “How can you be the way you are? You can’t change the world!” I believe I can. I can change myself. I can change the world. Sometimes that change requires patches being sewn on a vest or a pair of pants.

“A change of perception turns emotion into action. The search for a solution will end in revolution.” sings Abandon XVX in their song “To Defy” and it’s true. Unlike how we’re conditioned to be in school to be passive observers of life with the fable of news being something bigger than yourself – the truth is the revolution lies within you. Unlike some Doomsday theorists, I don’t believe that a violent revolution will change anything. Without the proper education – even if the state was overthrown, people would just set up the same system all over again because it’s all they know. In Spain, when there were the anarchist nations during the civil war was a result of anarchist material being in circulation and widely available for 75 years running. “It doesn’t have an affect if you don’t recognize the cause,” says Crass in the song Big A, Little A – which is very true.

My goal is to make a media empire to rival that of Rupert Murdoch. Might as well aim for the stars, if you miss, you’ll hit the moon.

Seriously, I came up with two ideas how to see the change I want to occur and to achieve them realistically. The first one would be to become president and turn the military into the biggest humanitarian aid effort the world has ever seen. Use force against those who force needs to use force (fascist, violent people) and completely revolutionize how food distribution is handled to end world hunger. Put a focus on renewable energy and listen to the experts about the environment. I am not personally sure if global warming is being caused by humans but I do know a mass extinction of the planet is going on and it is being caused by humans. That needs to be stopped. Money needs to be put into education to produce the next thinkers of the world – not merely dumb down next generation of workers. Studies have shown money is more efficient being spent on preventing not the result. Like, I was reading in The Real Cost of Prisons – that in some areas in NYC there are blocks that a million a dollars a year are spent on keeping the citizens incarcerated. If that money was spent on making the neighborhoods safe, food programs, and after school events – it would keep the people out of prison to begin with. It’s a money making institution that needs to be reformed. The United States has the highest incarceration rate in the world. That is pretty ridiculous for a land marketed as, “the land of the free.” I would put more regulations on animal testing and find out truly how relevant it is to test things on another species. I would put an end to factory farming and antibiotic abuse. I would want to give the people the right to decide the president – not the electoral college. I want to get rid of ridiculous pork barreling. I want to change so many things. Yes, I am an anarchist but I can’t live in an anarchist bubble and pretend the state doesn’t exist. I need to work with what I got. An option of mine is to run for president.

The other option is to become a big media giant. “Don’t hate the media: become the media.” is a famous punk saying. Then I can keep people inform about what’s really going on. No more having to read a dozen different news stories to try to get an idea what’s going on. I’d have news relevant to the community so that people can take action. A pet peeve of mine is when people are like, “They control things.” “They make it happen.” The reality of the situation is that there is no mysterious “they” but only we. The thing is we’re conditioned to believe that there is some mysterious entity out there that controls us but really we control them. It’s time to take the power back to the people.

The rich are getting richer at the expense of the poor. People deserve their dues for their hard work but really, how many yachts does a person need? Things need to change. The entire institution needs reform. The only way to change the institution is to educate the people. Voting hasn’t really changed anything because the rich with their own agenda control the media and pay off whoever needs to pay off to keep themselves comfortable.

My agenda is for freedom. Not corporate enslavement. Capitalism needs to be abolished. So many people are fighting the branches but we need to get down to the root. We need a non-violent revolution from within the system – destroying the system to create the next evolution in the progress of mankind. If we keep walking the path we’re walking, by 2050, life as we know on this planet will be extinct.

As long as we have a system on have’s and have not’s there will always be the poor. Global wealth creates global poverty. I want everyone to have food to eat, a roof over their head, and clothes on their back. I want to put the power in the hands of the people were it belongs – not in the hands of the rich. The rich are shaking in their boots because people are starting to get the idea to revolt like in Greece. However, I don’t agree with Chris Hedge that the Greeks get it. They have the idea and are willing to fight because they don’t have food – but they don’t have the whole idea.

Instead of spontaneously revolution, what if we learned to put aside our differences for a half a second and address the fact we are all human and all have needs? What if we acknowledged that our current system is killing us and we need to stop. What if we just stopped and started building a world of friendship, community, and mutual respect? I don’t expect everyone to like each other – I don’t like everyone – but I respect everyone and our differences.

As Aus Rotten said, “What good is money when there’s nothing left to buy?” Under current regime, that is exactly what is going to happen. The only way to change things is to work together and build a better tomorrow. Who’s with me?

Jun 12

Question: Where are the freedom loving punk rockers?

Posted on Saturday, June 12, 2010 in Theories

“My father told me “Son it’s futile to resist. You can topple the ideology but not the armies they enlist.” I questioned the intentions of the boy scouts chanting “WAR!” “Well, that’s the sound of freedom, son”, he said (free to say no more). But wait a minute “dad”, did you actually say freedom? Well, if you’re dumb enough to vote, you’re fucking dumb enough to believe them. Because if this country is so goddamned free, then I can burn your fucking flag wherever I damn well please.” – Propagandhi

Answer: Most punks are freedom loving. It just depends on your definition of freedom. If you mean the racist, classist, sexist, homophobic society we currently have – you probably won’t find many punks who agree with you. Some punks are apathetic and apolitical. My flavor of punk – anarcho/peace/crust punk are typically very political and care about freedom a lot. We want equality and freedom from oppression for humans and some of us for all beings. We want you to have the freedom to be you and me to have the freedom to be me.

However, most people want their version of freedom. Freedom to be how they want you to be and not true freedom. That isn’t true freedom. True freedom is allowing everyone the right to decide for themselves even if you disagree.

For example, I am straightedge. I have never done drugs nor will I ever. It is a personal choice. It isn’t my right to decide how others should live. Thus, I am for the legalization of marijuana. More harmful substances are legal like alcohol so it doesn’t make sense why marijuana isn’t. It would make the substance, reasonably price, and put an end to crimes. Plus, it will stimulate the economy with the tax money it’d bring and end some horrible drug trafficking. Sure, there might be more stoners, but it’s people’s choice. I don’t think zoning out on pot is any different than being a vegetable watching television.

I am for freedom to do as you please as long as you don’t hurt anyone else or infringe on the freedom of others. For example, hateful ideologies that promote violence against groups of people such as the KKK and Nazis shouldn’t have their freedom to believe what they do because they violate other people’s freedom. I can’t justify giving them their freedom if they won’t give me mine. Fascism, in whatever form it takes, must be stopped. Fascism doesn’t allow for “freedom” to exist. Make sense?

My form of freedom is equality for all beings. That doesn’t mean I think dogs should have the right to vote. I do think they should have the right to life though. Last night, I freaked out because I accidentally stepped on a snail. I really felt like a murderer. It isn’t my right to take the life of another living creature as long as that creature isn’t doing any harm to me. My family didn’t understand what the big deal was. It was just a snail; it was nighttime, and they didn’t have a light on. My stepmother even had a “talk” with me about how a snail is a lower life form who’s emotional experience is limited to eat, poop, and mate. I couldn’t even begin to explain to her how that’s specist. That life is life. That all life is precious and should be respected. That unnecessary taking of life should be avoided to put an end to violence. That specism, sexism, classism, racism, and all other forms of hierarchical oppression are connected. That human liberation is dependent on animal liberation. That it is all connected and must all be stopped for peace to exist. For freedom.

Jun 2

On Privilege, Racism, and Oppression

Posted on Wednesday, June 2, 2010 in Theories

Let’s talk privilege. So, I’m a middle class white female-bodied genderqueer mentally ill Jew. I’d be the first to admit I have some privilege but I am also fairly oppressed by the system as well. There are people who hate me because of my heritage. There are people who hate me for being queer. There are people who won’t view me as an equal if they knew about my mental illness. I wasn’t born into money. My family was lower class and worked really, really hard so that their kids would never know what it’s like to go without food. My class status is a result of hardwork, not old or blood money. So, because my family wanted a better life for me than they had, somehow my privilege state is somehow my fault that I need to take responsibility for. I am being told by peers that it’s somehow my fault I am white and middle class. I never asked for this life. I just happened to be born into it.

However, for everyone person like me who admits their privileges – there’s a thousand people who don’t. I was talking to my friend about being privilege. My friend mentioned when she got home from work she turned on the television and “Desperate Housewives” was on. She watched the opening scene and one of the characters stated, “I am privilege and I don’t care.” That sentiment is a majority of people in my position. Yet, I do care and I am trying to use what I got to better the world – not just my own personal interests.

I keep being told I don’t understand racism but no one can explain to me how I don’t get it. I might not have to deal with racism but I do have to deal with the threat that people will hate me for my last name or being visibly queer. How is that any different? Yet, somehow, I am told by anti-racist racists that my experience as a human being isn’t valid because of the color of my skin. Just because I was born into a white meat suit, my whole life and experiences don’t matter. To classify a group of people, due to their skin color, and to automatically decide that people of a certain race experiences aren’t as valid as another race experience, is no different than what Hitler did by blaming the Jews.

Racism is always going to be a problem and I know class/race is related. That most people in prison are people of color and there’s racial profiling. But, if there were more people of color than whites, the situation would be reverse. If there were more queers than heterosexuals, the heterosexuals would be oppressed. It’s just dumb luck that things are the way they are.

Now, I have been told I’m not being a good enough white ally because of my lack of understanding that no one can explain how I lack it. I know my life and personal experiences. I know when I go to people of color events to try to be a good ally they don’t want me there because I am white. I’ve had people who won’t date me because of the color of my skin. I have never rejected anyone based on skin color. The anti-racist racists have already judged me and decided they don’t want me. Why should I bother trying to befriend people who don’t want to be my friend or want my support? Why should I go out of my way to try to support people who won’t support me? What about people caring about being an ally to me for being queer, Jewish, and mentally ill?

I’ve lost lots of friends over being mentally ill. I have people who I’ve known for years turn on me for something beyond my control. I’ve been assaulted for being a homosexual. I don’t know many people of color who’ve been assaulted for being a person of color or lose friends over it. It’s not like they wake up one day and they’re a person of color like I woke up one day with a chemical imbalance. I deal with anti-semantism due to my heritage. Yet, due to my visible race, I am being told I don’t understand oppression?

I am not trying to play the who’s more oppressed than who game. But I find the radical circles intolerable of differences. They want to be project an image of representing a minority and apart from my class and skin color, I am a minority. But all that is ignored and not validated because of my skin. I am told I don’t understand. I do understand and can relate because I am oppressed to.

With that being said, I am doing the best I can do to make the world a more loving, tolerant place. I am trying to be the best ally to everyone but to be told I am lacking without being able to be told why is madness. I would never turn to anyone and say, “You aren’t being a good enough ally.” Or “Your experience aren’t valid.” Or even “You don’t understand.” That’s hateful and violent within itself to not valid another’s experience. I do understand and know what it’s like to be hated for something that isn’t your choice.

To automatically declare I am an oppressor based on the color of my skin is as ridiculous to decide I oppress due to my gender, sexuality, height, weight, type of peanut butter I eat. It’s to make an enemy out of a friend. It’s to become the oppressor yourself.

To simply be told by people who don’t know me that I’m a “privilege rich white kid” and I’m “not a good enough white ally” without being able to explain why other than saying “You don’t understand.” is to not even begin to examine the whole picture. It’s not validating the oppression I face. It’s not validating my family’s struggle so that I can have a better life than they had. It’s not looking at the fact I am using my privilege to try to fight against all forms of oppression. That I acknowledge my privilege but it’s not my fault. I can only work with what I am given and I doing the best I can. I don’t, however, see people of all colors lining up to be allies to me or approaching me to find out how to be an ally for what I need allies for as they expect me to do for them – which I do. I have had people get upset at me for asking how to be a better ally since I should “educate myself” which is what I was trying to do by asking. I’m not a psychic or a mind reader. I’ve never had anyone ask me how to be an ally to me for anything already mentioned. It’s not fair that so much is demanded of me but I can’t ask for the same in return. Because I’m white and I don’t understand oppression.

May 5

What does this say about us?

Posted on Wednesday, May 5, 2010 in Theories

I was reading the news the other day and read a piece about the NYC bombing attempt. First off, I have to say violence is -never- the answer. As Crass said, “And you’ll never change the system by bombing number ten/Systems just aren’t made of bricks they’re mostly made of people/You may send them into hiding, but they’ll be back again.” I fully believe that’s true. You can’t change the people or the system with violence. Only by peaceful means with education can people and the system be changed. With that said, I find it sad people feel the need to resort to violence. I also find it disturbing that when people resort to violence to be heard – they are never listened to. Our society is so callous that not even violence gets our attention. What does it say about us?

There must be something -wrong- with society that makes people act out violently. I think about what Marilyn Manson said about the Columbine shooting that he would have listened to what they had to say. That no one is doing that. What is getting people so upset that they want to hurt, even murderer others? Sometimes it’s a cause of mental illness but some of the time there’s nothing psychology wrong. No one is asking why and what can we do to change to prevent this from happening again. Why are people being pushed to the edge. What have we done as a society to provoke such violence. Our response is going in with guns and destroying all opposition. But, we never reflect on ourselves. The truth is our society is based on violence, not peace.

With violent movies, violent video games, the eating of murdered flesh, and teaching our young to play with guns – is it a wonder we’re turning out this way? We are taught to hate – not love. Even religion teaches and is based on hate. Once you need to classify some people as “saints” and others as “sinners” – you are pointing the finger at the other and aren’t trying to understand why. The truth, the reality of the situation, to quote Rudimentary Peni, “There is no right or wrong.” It is all a matter of perception. And the reality we are teaching people is to be divided, callous, not feeling, static, and numb. People in our society don’t feel and for the most part are already dead inside. That’s really sad.

I was thinking about AFI lyrics yesterday, “We can’t even remember the seasons…We can’t even recall the feelings we can not show.” What does this all say about us? Our society is built on the exploitation of third world countries. Our global wealth creates global poverty. There is only world hunger because that’s the way people -want- the world to be. We are taught not to care. Not to care about our fellow man or even value life. Is it really a surprise then, being taught not to value what is most precious that those who most distorted by society act out in the only means they find necessary? Aren’t we to blame too? What can we do to change to stop creating a violent world? The media will never talk about that. It’s easier to point fingers than self reflect.

I used to live about 20 blocks away from Time Square. I was blocks away from the bombing on 7/7/2005 in London. I heard the bomb go off from my hotel room that blew up the bus in Russel Square. I’ve been assaulted for being a homosexual at a punk show that was against homophobia. There are just some sick people out there but why are we producing sick people? What has their life showed them that violence is all they know? When I was hit, my thoughts weren’t on my own safety, my heart was bleeding for my attacker. I wanted to help him and show him that violence and hate isn’t the path to take. That it’s okay to feel pain, to feel anything, but it’s not okay to take your rage out on others. That violence doesn’t solve anything but makes problems worse. That it’s okay to be different. That there’s nothing wrong with being yourself as long as you aren’t hurting yourself or others. I wanted to know why – not point fingers, not get revenge, I wanted to see what he saw and see how to not let it happen again.

So, what does this all say about us?

‘Individualism’ is the mentality that you don’t owe anyone anything. / “Don’t tell me how to live my life and i won’t tell you how to live yours” – Fuck that / Manifestation of living in a capitalist system / Everyone is just looking our for themselves / We shun and ignore the one that need our help / But our action affect everyone around us / And the choices we make have very real consequences / And the thing you demand and the things you take for granted… / Convenience for you could be the result of another’s life / Step out of you little world… And open your eyes and your hearts! / A luxury for you could be the result of another’s suffering / Can you trace the origins of what you consume back to torture and abuse?/ Never stop questioning / The unexamined life is not worth living / This is not PC chit chat / This is what it is to be a human being / Taking shortcuts to happiness / will not bring you a lifetime of fulfillment

— Gather

Mar 2

On Radical Racism Theory

Posted on Tuesday, March 2, 2010 in Theories

A few nights ago, I was reading philosophy by Steiner followed by reading Dottie the Sock: How I Found My Pair. Both were good reads. I also wrote a piece about Queercore: what is it?.

In other news, I was pretty surprise to find out radical racism theory makes a villain out of anyone who happens to be white by automatically labeling them as the “oppressor.” I don’t agree with it. How is the circle of hate going to end when you automatically decided that a group of people due to their race is the problem? In the eyes of these people, it’s acceptable for people of color to dislike people for simply being white. They also say there is no way to ever be racist to people who are white – you can only be racist towards a minority. If racism is discrimination based on race, how is that not racism? I think that is perpetuating hate and not help putting the end to it. It’s like deciding all men are sexist because they never experience discrimination due to their sex.

Honestly, I think it’s time we stop playing the “who’s more oppressed than who” game. The truth is, EVERYONE in a capitalistic system is oppressed to some degree. Some people have more privilege but they are still oppressed. Instead of fighting amongst ourselves, we should recognize our common struggle as being humans in an oppressive system and try to get along.

To make up theories to justify your hate due to race, is no different than what other hate groups do to justify their discrimination. People were attacking my understanding of theory for not accepting that simply due to my race, being white, that my whole struggle and existence isn’t as valid as a person of color is ridiculous. I was born with my race. Just like I was born with my sex. To me, race matters just as much as sex, which isn’t at all because it’s beyond a person’s control.

Don’t get me wrong, everyone has their own heritage and experience. I think the world should be more of a tossed salad than a melting pot. So, that we’re all mixed together, equal, but different. People forget that equality and sameness are not the same thing. You can be different and equal. We don’t need to assimilate anyone or any culture for equality. The world would be really boring if everyone was the same.

I view everyone as being equal and different. I take each person on a case by case bases. I don’t judge a group of people because of a few individuals. I take each person for who they are without judging them first due to their meatsuit. I think if more people would stop judging and be more loving the world would be a better place. If the cycle of hatred isn’t going to end with you, who do you expect it to end with?