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Feb 8

My Rebellion: A Look at Society.

Posted on Monday, February 8, 2010 in Theories

I once thought this place was a paradise – home of the free. I must have had rose colored glasses on or something. The opposite is true. Our government is a corporation whose only purpose is profit. The humans who live in this domain, mere commerce property of said corporation. Not that they even begin to care, being brainwashed with reality television that blurs the line between fiction and reality. Most of them are so crazy from their conditioning – from public education teaching conformity, unquestioning obedience to authority, and materialism that there’s nothing worth redeeming to be found in these people. Selfish and lazy – fighting over crumbs while enforcing the system.

The sometimes is a rare soul who dares to think but that is about as far as their actions go. I call them “liberals” and I say they are useless. Utterly and complete trash. They spend their time complaining about the problems in society – knowing that we’re heading for a crash, but do nothing but watch. These people are spectators of life – allowing life to happen to them as if there was some unnatural force controlling their fate. They are too afraid to take the next step in realization: that we, humans, create the world we live in. That we have a choice: we can say “No.”

That’s where I fit in the picture. I have said, “No.” to the machine. Fate, fortune, or luck has afforded me the privilege of not having to beg for my supper. Some people aren’t lucky enough to have the option but most that do are too blinded by this desire to obtained man-made bullshit that they fall into line.

I am an anomaly. I want freedom from oppression and hierarchies. I want peace and equality. Sometimes I think I am the only one. Just by looking at the world – it is the way it is because people have made it this way. Now, they think some savior is going to come and fix this mess. Believing faerie tales and living life by a book. Things have been largely this way for the last ten thousand years and look where it’s gotten us. If this fucked up world isn’t proof enough that religion isn’t working, I don’t know what is.

I haven’t met anyone like me; someone else who wants to dedicate their life to changing the world. Just because I don’t work doesn’t mean I do nothing. I have been afforded the luxury to rebel so I am. I organize and form groups to try to promote peace, equality, and freedom. I haven’t had much luck so far. No one seems to think such a vision can be real but it is.

Peace is here if you want it. You need to only look to yourself. Most people can’t though. They are monsters. I’m a monster too being brought up in this capitalistic society but at least I know it. The others can’t admit imperfection. They model their lives off magazines and buy, buy, buy. Because of their greed we as a human race are going to die, die, die. What good is money when there’s nothing left to buy?

Jan 18

Victim or Culprit? Life in the Matrix.

Posted on Monday, January 18, 2010 in Uncategorized

I found an old vest I covered in patches and painted on the back, “Victim or Culprit?” It’s something I think about sometimes, “Are we a victim of society or a culprit for perpetuating the system?”

When I lived in New York City, the closest grocery store to my apartment was Whole Foods. Whole Foods is corporation that’s not very sustainable. To the consumer, it’s pretty awesome that they have fruits and vegetables from all over the world so nothing is ever out of season. However, it’s not so cool all the energy used to transport the goods. Was I a mere victim of the corporation for having to buy my food there or was I a culprit that was continuing the system?

I try not to support sweatshops and slave labor but sometimes it’s unavoidable in this Matrix. I’d say about 75% of my clothing is from the United States and European Countries. The remaining 25% is from questionable origins. I try really hard to be ethical with everything I consume but sometimes things slip through the cracks. Am I a victim or a culprit?

Choice is a very limited commodity. Sometimes the choice is left up to the lesser of two evils. For example, I am an anarchist but I helped the Obama campaign because I didn’t want McCain to win. I don’t believe in the corrupt political system we have, however, just because I don’t believe in it isn’t going to make it go away or stop affecting my life. If things are going to change, it is going to because people work for it. Apathy is never the solution. But, it’s really hard when given two choices with almost the same agenda.

I usually go for independent and handmade over mass produced and corporate. People who are living on very tight budgets don’t really have the luxury of making that choice. They need to go with what’s available. I watched the movie Food, Inc. and the movie followed a family on a tight budget. When only having a dollar to spend to feed their hungry kid, it’s easiest to go to a fast food chain and get the dollar menu items to satisfy their hunger. Fruits and vegetables are more expensive than meat because of how the government subsidizes the food supply. The family out of need would go with the unhealthier options because it’s cheaper because money is the deciding factor. Are they a victim because of financial restrictions? Or are they the culprit for supporting the system?

Nothing is really black and white. There is a system of control that built up making the world how it is now. There’s so many systems within systems within systems that it’s mind boggling. With the structure of society that we have, living a hunting and gathering lifestyle just isn’t an option in the modern American city as even the trees aren’t from the city. They are planned and developed. With the absence of nature and being born into this system to begin with, from birth to death we aren’t given a choice as to the way we should live. Are we victims in the Matrix or the culprit who makes it?

Dec 30

On Vegetarianism – thinking about going Vegan again

Posted on Wednesday, December 30, 2009 in Vegan

This has been on my mind for a few days. I watched The Meatrix a few days ago and haven’t been able to stop thinking about one scene. I thought by being vegetarian – I was free of consuming anything flesh-like. Apparently, that’s not true because the meat industry feeds the dairy cows both cow’s blood and animal byproducts. Really, really gross.

One of my acquaintance made the mistake of asking how I was. Never ask me this unless you really want to know. I mentioned I was thinking about going vegan and and she asked “why” I was thinking about being vegan. I should have known better to stop the conversation there because such things with meat eaters always end in conflict. I told her I was already a vegetarian and that I found out they feed calves blood which is gross. She agreed with me and mentioned she enjoyed eating meat. I should have politely withdraw from the conversation at that point – which I will do next time – but I commented how eating meat is eating a tortured corpse. She was like, “Some people see it that way, other don’t.” Which I responded, “It doesn’t matter what your belief is – it’s what it is.”

The conversation went downhill at that point. As I believe meat eating to be one of the most selfish things a person can do. It’s literally saying, “I get pleasure from your pain. My life is more valuable than yours.” which is completely unnecessary in this day and age where we control our food supply and grow lots of vegetables. It’s also a waste of energy getting food energy from first making it into meat and not taking it in it’s direct form. I see meat eating as being a murderer. I do not tolerate it in any shape or form.

What about vegetarianism? I was vegan for about four months but honestly, I got lazy. I liked pancakes and certain things that I fell back in the habit of having eggs and dairy. So, I figured I’d stick with being a vegetarian. I’m way too sensitive to eat meat. I knew the eggs and dairy industry were bad and the animals had unhappy lives. I thought I could live with that but lately, I haven’t been feeling it. Rather, I feel so deeply that unlike how most people are desensitized and detached – I really feel the effect of everything I do.

I used to be your average kid doing average things: playing violent video games, watching violent movies, and feasting on the dead. I was a proud product of the system; a registered democrat – I drove down to the post office on my 18th birthday to register to vote and do my civil duties. I thought freedom and equality was established with civil war and women’s rights movement. That Martin Luther King ended racism. In other words, rather brainwashed. The system did a good job on me.

Then a lot of things happened. Maybe I’ll write a book about it. I always questioned things like I wasn’t sure if we really landed on the moon. But, I never thought to question myself and my foundation. It was outside my scope of experience. As I became more aware, I thought maybe I should become vegetarian but I never thought I could do it. I thought I liked meat too much. I was really conditioned. I started getting into riot grrrl and some punk my first year of college. I didn’t even know it was called “riot grrrl” back then.

Anyways, after lots and lots of questioning – still questioning and searching I arrive at who I am today. I am still growing and am not the final product by any means. Maybe the next step in the evolution is to go vegan because I can’t stand what they do to the animals. Life is life and precious. I have no right to decide if certain animals like pets should have a life of luxury while others have hell simply because they make stuff I like to eat.

Dec 10

An Anoymous Question: College and Higher Education

Posted on Thursday, December 10, 2009 in Uncategorized

Comments, Thoughts, Questions, and anything else.: i was just wondering if you go/went to college or how you felt about higher education.

I’ve gone to college.  I’ve been to several colleges.  I haven’t graduated yet and currently on leave from my most current school.  I’ve been to a university of California, a private Catholic university, a community college, and two prestigious art schools.  I’ve changed majors so far five times.  I was: theater, painting, illustration, film, and fine arts.  Plus, I was part of and lead several clubs and organizations.  My current GPA is around a 3.5.  I’ve studied on the West coast and the East coast.  I’ve been through about six years of college so far.  I know college very well.  I might graduate someday.  I have enough credits for it just none in the right places.

Overall, I was very disappointed with college.  It was a lot of work but it wasn’t hard.  I was hoping to find intelligent life and people I could relate to.  I didn’t which is why I changed schools so many times because I thought perhaps it was the school and the crowd it attracted.  First university was all sex, drugs, and beer.  I’m straightedge and not into partying so I didn’t have much of a social life.  The people were plastic, superficial and materialistic. So, I tried going to the extreme opposite which was a private Catholic university.  The Catholic university was too Catholic – they taught creationism in the science classes and people thought that was a good thing so I had to leave.  The art schools were pretentious, highly competitive, and cut throat.  My fellow students were mean and jerks.  The community college was something I tried to do to just get a few credits while in limbo but being surrounded by the people who attended it depressed me so much I just had to drop out.

I think college is a system within the System.  It’s part of the capitalistic machine to train the next generation of workers.  It’s also a system of control.  Knowledge is power and the rich don’t want to part with it.  Depending on which college you go to depends on what education you will get.  If you go to Standford, they’ll teach you to be a CEO.  If you go to a state school, they teach you to be a manager.  It’s very classist because college is about the money not about teaching.  If you can’t afford it, you’ll be working minimum wage jobs for the rest of your life with a few rare exceptions.  In college, it’s more of the formal conditional received through the public school system as they try to control how you’ll think and relate to the world.  They fill your head full of knowledge that has their slant to it.  They want you to think in their terms with their ideas.  They don’t want you thinking for yourself.

With that being said, the only way the system is going to change is if the people change it.  The only way the system is going to change is from within.  Have you seen the movie SLC Punk?  Stevo’s realization that you can do more harm to the system from within than from the outside leads him to go back to school to become a lawyer.  The only way the we’re going to destroy the system of control is to become the system then dismantle it.  If the people don’t want the system to be there, it wouldn’t be there.  We could build a new world.

I think college education is important to become the system to fight the system.  I am considering going back to school to get a women’s and gender studies degree and then going on to get a PH.D.  I want to teach the world about peace, love, freedom from oppression and hierarchies, and equality.  However, I recently talked to a former professor of mine who has a PH.D and mentioned my idea, thinking that having a credential would make people more willing to listen to me.  His exact words to me were, “I have a PH.D and it doesn’t make people listen to me.” So, I am unsure right now if I really need school.  It all depends on what you want to do with your life and if school will help get you there.  It’s a personal thing and the answer is different for everyone.