RSS Feed
Nov 16

Question: Did you like meat?

Posted on Tuesday, November 16, 2010 in Vegan

I LOVED meat. I was called “Wimpie” like from the cartoon Popeye’s who would always ask him for money today and would claim to pay back whoever on Tuesday for a hamburger today – by my family. I never really made the connection between “chicken” and CHICKEN and ground beef and COW until I was like 10 or 11. I remember the day actually, it was a Friday night dinner and we were having a nice meal, and I was like, “Wait…chicken -is- chicken?” and my family looked a little embarrassed and was like “Yes.” I stopped eating for a moment – I never knew about vegetarianism until I was 16 years old and since my family ate meat for almost every meal – I didn’t really think there was an alternative. When I first heard about vegetarianism when I was 16, I thought it was the oddest thing. One of my cousins went vegetarian and it was a big family ordeal. I was too desensitized at that point to really do much about it. I kind of felt like Hamlet – walking so far in blood – that it’d be just as messy to retrace the steps as to move forward or so I thought. So, I just didn’t think too much about it.

Bounce ahead six years, and I had a complete mental breakdown. Basically, I developed schizoaffective disorder (which is under control now) and I really thought I had a satanic cult after me plotting to eat me. Turns out, it was just my serotonin was non-existent and my brain chemicals naturally got out of balance when the illness set in. I had a handful of people picking on me at college and I guess it was beyond my comprehension that people could be mean for no reason whatsoever so instead of thinking “Oh, they’re being crassholes,” it was “OMG, they are plotting to eat me.” It was a slow development and people talking to me about cannibalism, satanism, and random stuff that was unrelated that somehow got connected into this dark epic tale. Anyways, I -knew- something was wrong, went for help, and everything worked out okay. I didn’t know what was wrong but dude, when you think people are plotting to eat you – you either need help because it’s in your head or you need help because of impending doom.

Anyways, a day or two after my complete mental breakdown – we went out to eat and it dawned upon me that eating meat was wrong. I didn’t know about factory farming or environmental issues that went into it – but just had this moment of realization that eating meat was unnecessary and caused much suffering for the animals. Plus, I didn’t want to be eaten, so I decided to extend the same courtesy to other beings. Chicken fingers -were- my favorite food at that moment but I didn’t want to be a part of causing pain to another creature. So, I stopped.

It took about a month to get myself off meat. I tried to go cold turkey but I felt really weak and crummy so for about a month I ate meat once a week. After that, my body didn’t need it anymore (or maybe the chemicals in it, haha) and haven’t gone back since.

I went vegan about a year ago when my conscious couldn’t handle oppressing cows and chickens. Rather, I thought I could deal with that on my conscious – but it got to the point I couldn’t bring myself to eat animal products anymore. I’ve been vegan ever since. 🙂

Jun 23

Those Who Can Protest An Injustice And Doesn’t Is an Accomplice: The Hypocrisy of the Vegan Straight Edge Scene

Posted on Wednesday, June 23, 2010 in Anarchy, straightedge, Vegan

Silence is violence. Violence in whatever form it takes must be stopped. I thought the vegan straight edge scene of California would understand this philosophy as part of being a vegan is the ideology to do no harm. This however is not the case. I put out a call to the people I know in the vegan straight edge scene to reprimand a prominent member in their community who wronged me, who was violent towards me with words. I asked him to hang out and he told me to go jump off a cliff. Liberty comes from community. I was trying to be part of the community and he is a part of it too. So, thus, it is a community matter so I took it forth to the others. They sing about peace, community, and unity but their response for my call to action to be given an apology for the injustice has fallen on deaf ears. Those who had an opportunity to respond to my request have answered me with silence. There is violence in their silence and their being an accomplice to the injustice rendered upon me.

Apparently, vegan straight edge scene is called a “scene” for a reason. Instead of accepting people with open arms and open hearts – they want people to prove themselves to become a member of their scene. They won’t give you a chance to be a friend or accept you for who you are even if you are one of their own. I thought that also being vegan and straight edge – I would finally have a place to call home. People who I share common interests and beliefs with. People who share my philosophy of peace, equality, and freedom from oppression for all beings. However, the people within the scene are too busy on oppressing each other to ever achieve anything.

They sing the songs, get the tattoos, but their minds remain unmarked. It’s easy to claim to have a philosophies but actions speak louder than words. It is easy to claim to be an anarchist but most people who claim the title fall short of practice – as the person who obviously didn’t have the correct response to my asking to hang out.

Part of my belief of being an anarchist is to be a fully conscious human being. It’s not needing the law because you would never break universal law to begin with. Part of that is valuing all beings equally and equal opportunity. If I have time to make a cutsey comment for a friend – I’ll also make time to reply to my acquaintance. They spent their valuable time to send me a message and it obviously meant something to them – I’d reply even if it’s a simple “No thanks.” Unless it’s a mass invite/spam thing, etc. I am an all or nothing type of gal, I don’t half ass anything and I believe in equality so I treat all people the same. I was kind of hoping others who claim to be anarchists would have a similar code with being a professed, “Anarchist” and being against all forms of oppression. Ignoring is a form of oppression by not validating another person’s existence/experience/time/effort/worth.

Friendship is a form of hierarchy – as a true anarchist we’re against all hierarchy. Everyone is given an equal chance because we all are equal. However, to not being given a chance, and being told to “jump off a cliff” is how you make enemies out of potential allies.

I am hoping the community responses to the community issue and I get my requested apology. That the vegan straight edge scene really stands for what they profess they stand for. But so far, they have proven themselves to be hypocrites. It is easy to say you are for things but talk is cheap. To allow people who are called “friends” to be disrespectful to another human who’s not of that label is to be hierarchical and to allow oppression of others. I have no need for “friends” like that who don’t have a backbone and who can’t stand up for what’s universal law but instead fall into line. So far, the vegan straightedge scene which I thought had so much potential has proven itself to as conforming to a status quo mirroring mainstream society which they profess to be different from.

I got news for you vegan straight edge kids: You are just the same. A different form of sheep needing a group to validate your existence. I, for one, am not a sheep. So for now, I shall say my good bye because we are nothing alike. Stop pretending to be like me when you can protest an injustice and don’t. When you silently accept cruelty from one of your own to another human being. You’re already dead.

I’m alive. I moved on. I don’t need poseurs like you.

May 7

Specism: Meat is Murder

Posted on Friday, May 7, 2010 in Vegan

I am going to start work on a new zine/workshop. It’d be about specism and how all forms of oppression are linked. I was asked to give a talk on the topic for a conference. It’s going to be a lot of work to get it together but it should be pretty awesome when done. There isn’t really anything out there about specism/sexism/gender binary/feminism and how they are all connected.

One of the things I am going to focus on his how language controls and oppresses animals. I got someone really upset when I mention my view that “Meat is murder.” Which was odd because they claimed to be against specism; one species being used by another species without consent, but apparently finds nothing wrong with eating flesh. I do have issues with people being flesh eaters and giving the green light that murders lots of animals.

I believe in personal choice – but not when that decision harms another being. I went though counseling training and the only time you would break confidentiality is when someone was going to harm themselves or others. Eating meat falls in the harming others category.

However, how much I dislike meat – I do live in a house of flesh eaters which is a struggle for me. My dad’s preferred diet is Atkins which is heavily meat based. He doesn’t like vegetables. He likes meat. He likes creatures being tortured and killed for his pleasure. He views animals as “animals” and humans as a different sort of animal. He’s a speciesist, as most meat eaters are. It hurts me a lot that he’s closed minded but it’s his choice – even it breaks universal law that murder is wrong.

Just because we have the power to do something doesn’t mean it’s right. No one – when given a survey on veganism found it to be wrong or immoral. No one. However, people do find meat eating to be a problem: for us, the animals, and the environment. This flesh eating obsession is literally killing us.

It’s kind of rough living in a world where the majority of the people are murderers. But, that’s reality. We’re all thieves and murderers here by associating with our capitalistic system. Even veganism isn’t 100% guilt free. But it’s a step in the right direction.

The reason why finding other vegan straightedge people is so important to me is because they are upholding universal law of doing no harm to other beings or themselves. It’s not about having “everyone being the same” because equality and sameness are two different things. However, it’s about respecting all life which is precious. It’s about respecting life and not breaking the code, “harming yourself or others” which I think is key.

That doesn’t mean I don’t befriend people who are meat eaters but I don’t have the same connection as I do with people who respect life. I couldn’t have a long term relationship with a meat eater. I am having a hard enough time coping with accepting the selfishness of my family to not be considerate for other lifeforms. It’s a lack of responsibility and the idea that “my need is greater than yours” that most problems that plague mankind stems from. It is all connected.

Apr 21

Vegan Enough?

Posted on Wednesday, April 21, 2010 in Vegan

“I’ll die before I break edge or veganism.” said the straightedge vegan I was talking to.

“I am pretty sure about being edge and pretty sure about being vegan – but I am not hardcore enough to get a tattoo. Besides, sometimes I mess up.”

“Then you aren’t really vegan.”

“No, it’s not like I purposely mess up. I just get misinformed and mistakes happened. What about the field mice?”

“Field mice?”

“Yeah, the field mice when it comes time for the grain for your bread. When they harvest it, big machines – little animal, big machine… dead mice.”

“I am sure the companies make sure that doesn’t happen.”


How many people here will believe for one minute that any bread company is looking out for the health and safety of the field mice? My bet is problem not. This draws the question: When is vegan “vegan” enough? There is no way to be 100% on anything unless you make everything yourself. I don’t know anyone who has the money, resources, and time to do that.

Am I vegan enough? I mess up sometimes. Rather, mistakes happen to me. For example, I was buying wheat tortillas a few months ago I read over the ingredients, didn’t see anything, so I bought them. I bring them home, make a bean and rice burrito, when I decided to double check the ingredients. When I re-read the label, I saw “whey” which I didn’t see the first time. So here I am with a vegan bean and rice burrito in a wheat tortilla that has whey – I am faced with the choice: eat it or throw it out. If I didn’t eat it or took it back to the store – the tortillas would go to waste. Which is the bigger wrong? Wasting food or having some whey? It would be a waste to throw away perfectly good food over a mistake so I ate it. However, I was certain never to buy those tortillas again.

Another burrito mishap: I used to get beans and rice burritos from this Mexican restaurant. Their vegetarian burrito comes with rice and beans. I asked if it was vegan, I was told yes. Next time, my dad goes, so he asks, “Is it vegan?” He was told, “Rice – yes, beans – no.” So, for a couple of weeks we didn’t go there but I told him I was certain that it was vegan. So, we went again. I asked, “Are the beans vegan? Is the rice vegan?” This time, I was told, “Beans – yes, rice – no. It’s cooked in chicken broth.” Which lead me to ask, “Why does rice come on your vegetarian burrito?” They had no answer.

A meat mishap: I was out to dinner with a group. The food was group ordered and I had no control over it. I was told they ordered some vegan options for me. A roll was brought to the table and I was told it was vegan. I asked the waitress, and her English wasn’t that great, but she said, “Yes.” Unsure, I asked everyone at my table. Everyone assured me it was vegan and ordered just for me. So, trusting the group and the waitress, I ate it. Turns out, it has chicken diced like small cubes of tofu – I ate meat. I was really upset, but what could I do about it?

It isn’t like I am trying to mess up. It just happens. I am told something is vegan and it’s not. Ingredients are misread by me or someone shopping for me. My intention is to be vegan but once in a while a mistake happens. It’s not like I am going out and ordering a steak (I know a girl who claims to be vegan and goes out and eats steaks) but maybe the rice was cooked in chicken broth without my knowledge. Does that make me not vegan for being flawed? I am only human. By our very nature, humans are destined to mess up.

I am not planning on ever breaking edge or breaking veganism. However, if I was traveling and I ended up in the middle of a starving third world country and they offered me food of mysterious origins and it was all they had – I’d eat it. I’d tell them it was the best food in the world. It would be rude, disrespectful, and shameful to do otherwise.

I was at a book reading discussion recently, and they were talking about how veganism is hypocritical. That here in America, we have a choice, where elsewhere there isn’t an option. That to expect people to be vegan is an unrealistic expectation. I voiced that because we have a choice we should chose to not take life. Besides, if everyone was on a vegan diet, there would be enough food to feed the world.

Right now, there’s what I consider to be indirect cannibalism. The western world feeds corn that could be feed to the starving nations to cows. They then eat the cows and people starve to death. If people would just eat the raw material – and stop caring about lining their pockets but common human good will and give the food to those who are in need. World hunger is gone, if you want it. People don’t talk about the wasted resources to raise their bloody dinner.

I chose life over death. Freedom from oppression and suffering for all beings. If my intention was to eat rice cooked in chicken broth – then I’d say I am not a vegan. But, I am firmly against factor farming and consuming flesh. I don’t think I instantly stop being vegan because of a mistake. Besides, no system is perfect. What about the field mice?

Mar 12

Vegan Lip Balm Review + Vegan Yummies + Punk Stuff

Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 in Reviews, straightedge, Vegan

I haven’t written this week because I’ve been busy trying lots and lots of vegan lip balm. Some of it was terrible and some of it was awesome. From my experimenting, the best vegan lip balm is Crazy Rumors. They have a french vanilla flavor (a solid french vanilla without coffee flavor but bold), a banana split (my second favorite – it tastes yummy), chocolate mint (yum!), orange creamsicle (which is awesome if you like orange flavored things), and mocha (my favorite – I usually don’t like coffee flavored things but it’s mostly chocolate with a hint of coffee like a real mocha!) just to name a few. The lip balm goes on like silk, tastes amazing, and leaves your lips really nice. I tried most of the flavors that had any interest to me and the only one that was bad was the Pineapple and Peppermint. The pineapple flavor wasn’t that great and made me gag a little. But, the Pear and Peppermint was good – even if the pear was a little weak and so was the Plum and Peppermint.

I tried most lip balm from Etsy that was in stick form and it didn’t hold a candle to Crazy Rumors. Plus, Crazy Rumors is sweeten with Stevia – a natural alternative sweetener. I tried not to try any lip balm that I couldn’t pronounce the ingredients or anything not natural. Crazy Rumors is all natural and awesome. I was hesitant to try the lip balm because a stick costs 4 dollars with the shipping and handling being 6 dollars. However, I found a website that’s having a special on Crazy Rumors lip balm for this month only with much cheaper shipping called InterNatural Alternative Health. Just do a search for Crazy Rumors on the site to find it.

Or you can always do option B: which is to buy some vegan yum yums from Vegan Essentials and add some Crazy Rumors lip balm to your order. I ordered some tasty vegan treats and had Rocky Road Bark by Sweet and Sara which was so tasty. Plus, I got a vegan s’more which was okay – not as good as the bark in my opinion. I also ordered Vanilla Vegan Marshmallows which are awesome but are pretty expensive for what you get. I am going to look into making my own vegan marshmallows to see if that’s an alternative because it just isn’t worth the cost for such little product but it’s tasty. I was craving marshmallows, can you tell?

Yesterday, was the ultimate test of my veganhood. I was at a buffet-style restaurant and there was a basket full of non-vegan chocolate chip cookies. I love chocolate chip cookies so much – but I didn’t eat one bite. I can’t justify eggs and how the poor chickens are treated. Which reminds me of this really wicked shirt I got this week. Isn’t it awesome? It renders even the most outspoken meateaters speechless.

I needed some new clothes this week. I found a vegan straightedge hoodie that wasn’t too expensive. Looks like they are going fast. I am going to sew a Born/Dead patch on the back. Plus, I picked up a few anarcho-punk themed t-shirts from So, I should be set in the clothes department for sometime now.

My attempts at forming an Amnesty International is going slow but still going. We’ll see if I can get this group off the ground.

Feb 22

PETA Kills Animals

Posted on Monday, February 22, 2010 in Vegan

PETA is a group of hypocrites. They kill animals. I was in a vegan group and someone mention PETA. So, I voiced my opposition to the group with creditable sources stating what they do. The group leader didn’t “believe” it was true so she censored me. I thought that was cute, because FACTS are things you don’t need to believe in – they exist whether you believe in it or not – like gravity. Anyways, I left that vegan group because with friends like that, who needs enemies?

For more information about PETA Killing Animals:

From PETA themselves.

A Newsweek Article: PETA and Euthanasia

A Video of Penn and Teller show Bullshit about PETA

Feb 18

Vegan Red Lobster Garlic and Cheese Biscuits + Welcome to!

Posted on Thursday, February 18, 2010 in Vegan

I really want to talk about Vegan Red Lobster Garlic and Cheese Biscuits. They are -amazing-.

I didn’t have access to Teese like the recipe suggests but I used Follow Your Heart vegan cheddar cheese as a substitute. I can’t really taste the cheddar but the garlic melt-in-your-mouth buttery goodness was all there. They definitely have the “yum” factor. Even the non-vegans appreciated the tasty biscuits.

I am going to bake some vegan chocolate chip cookies tomorrow which should be fantastic.

In other news, welcome to my new domain, Surprisingly, the domain was available and a friend of mine suggested I should blog on it. So, here I am. Hope you enjoy your stay.

Jan 26

On Change + "Kale" vs. "Cow"

Posted on Tuesday, January 26, 2010 in Theories, Vegan

Some people say things never change. I disagree. Things are changing all the time, everyday. The secret is that the change needs to start with you.

I hold Gandhi’s saying, “Be the change you wish to see in the world,” close to my heart. I try to live it. I’ve changed a lot over the past couple of years. I continue to try to better myself to be the best person I can be. My foundation has always been a good one; as I am a sweetheart, so maybe I had a better starting point than most. Most people don’t really want to look at themselves and see who they truly are.

To look at yourself honestly, means looking at both the good and bad. No one is perfect. Most people like to believe things without fact or logic to back it up. I have never been able to blindly accept anything. I question things constantly. As a fortune cookie I got a couple of months ago said, “Change begins with discontent.”

The truth is that most people don’t want to change. They don’t see anything wrong with themselves. Or to admit to being flawed would also be admitting to being mortal. That is something that some people can’t face because they aren’t willing to or they are afraid. To really look at yourself objectively is to sometimes see things you may not like.

I didn’t like the realization that I was causing harm to lots of innocent animals by being a carnivore. I’m the type of person who can’t kill a bug because I believed all life is sacred. I had to accept the fact I was being a hypocrite. That my beliefs and practices didn’t match. I remember saying I could never be vegan about five years ago. Somehow, I changed along the way.

I think it’s a matter of figuring out what’s important to you and pursuing that. So many people are afraid to try to live their dream because of fear of failure or something fear of success. It takes courage and fearlessness to be what you want to be.

Sometimes, I still think I’m a monster because I live in a capitalistic society. That I participate in a system that oppresses the many but I am also fighting to try to change it. Most of my work has the end goal of profits from my endeavors to go to charities and causes I believe in. It’s almost impossible to be guilt free in this world and some people don’t even want to admit they are guilty.

I remember I got someone so upset when I pointed out that they’d rather spend their money on an ipod than feed the hungry. We’re all guilty of things like that in this society. They didn’t want to hear that they were a murderer – both by neglect and association. I don’t met many people who accept the blame that the first world creates the third world, or people willing to try to change it. I want to find the others who don’t lie to themselves about reality and are strong enough to take a stand to try to fix the corrupt system.


Onto a lighter subject, I was talking about wanting to try kale chips the other day. “Kale” and “cow” sound a lot alike. So, my dad and his wife thought the vegan was talking about wanting to eat “cow” chips – cow poop. Haha.

Jan 20

Veganism, Protein, and Treats – Oh My!

Posted on Wednesday, January 20, 2010 in Vegan

My dad and doctor are protein obsessed. They think by me being vegan I am not going to get enough protein. If you really look at how protein is distributed in food – it’s really hard not to get enough protein. But, if you are a vegan and really worried about getting enough protein. I’d like to share what I found.

NutriBiotic Rice Protein – I prefer the chocolate but it really doesn’t taste like much. It goes good in a glass of rice milk and has 12 grams of protein per serving – I usually put two heaping tablespoons in one glass for 24 grams of protein goodness at breakfast time.

NuGo Protein Bars – I like the chocolate chocolate chip the best. They are vegan and pretty good. 10g of Protein per bar.

Primal Strips – I like the Texas BBQ ones. For some reasons the Teriyaki tastes like dirt to me. The Hickory Smoke is okay but is more soy-like than the Texas BBQ. The only drawback on the Primal Strips is that the package is hard to open so you’ll probably need scissors and it has a lot of sodium. But, it’s 10 grams of protein a strip and that’s awesome.

Tofurkey Jerky – It’s awesome. It has 12 grams of protein per ounce but again high salt content.

Okay, this has nothing to do with protein, well, they have like 3 grams of protein per ounce but I want to share this finding with you. Gone Nuts! Living Intentions are awesome raw nuts. I found them at this little vegan store. A little costly but they are really good. I haven’t tried all the flavors but so far my favorite is Maple. The Teriyaki are pretty awesome too. Well, I like them, my dad doesn’t.

Another thing that has nothing to do with protein but sugar – Yummy Earth is some awesome lollipops. I only have tried the Pomegranate drops and they’re great.

That’s all I have to share for now. Do you have any vegan protein or yummy finds? Leave a comment and share please! Thanks! 🙂

Dec 30

On Vegetarianism – thinking about going Vegan again

Posted on Wednesday, December 30, 2009 in Vegan

This has been on my mind for a few days. I watched The Meatrix a few days ago and haven’t been able to stop thinking about one scene. I thought by being vegetarian – I was free of consuming anything flesh-like. Apparently, that’s not true because the meat industry feeds the dairy cows both cow’s blood and animal byproducts. Really, really gross.

One of my acquaintance made the mistake of asking how I was. Never ask me this unless you really want to know. I mentioned I was thinking about going vegan and and she asked “why” I was thinking about being vegan. I should have known better to stop the conversation there because such things with meat eaters always end in conflict. I told her I was already a vegetarian and that I found out they feed calves blood which is gross. She agreed with me and mentioned she enjoyed eating meat. I should have politely withdraw from the conversation at that point – which I will do next time – but I commented how eating meat is eating a tortured corpse. She was like, “Some people see it that way, other don’t.” Which I responded, “It doesn’t matter what your belief is – it’s what it is.”

The conversation went downhill at that point. As I believe meat eating to be one of the most selfish things a person can do. It’s literally saying, “I get pleasure from your pain. My life is more valuable than yours.” which is completely unnecessary in this day and age where we control our food supply and grow lots of vegetables. It’s also a waste of energy getting food energy from first making it into meat and not taking it in it’s direct form. I see meat eating as being a murderer. I do not tolerate it in any shape or form.

What about vegetarianism? I was vegan for about four months but honestly, I got lazy. I liked pancakes and certain things that I fell back in the habit of having eggs and dairy. So, I figured I’d stick with being a vegetarian. I’m way too sensitive to eat meat. I knew the eggs and dairy industry were bad and the animals had unhappy lives. I thought I could live with that but lately, I haven’t been feeling it. Rather, I feel so deeply that unlike how most people are desensitized and detached – I really feel the effect of everything I do.

I used to be your average kid doing average things: playing violent video games, watching violent movies, and feasting on the dead. I was a proud product of the system; a registered democrat – I drove down to the post office on my 18th birthday to register to vote and do my civil duties. I thought freedom and equality was established with civil war and women’s rights movement. That Martin Luther King ended racism. In other words, rather brainwashed. The system did a good job on me.

Then a lot of things happened. Maybe I’ll write a book about it. I always questioned things like I wasn’t sure if we really landed on the moon. But, I never thought to question myself and my foundation. It was outside my scope of experience. As I became more aware, I thought maybe I should become vegetarian but I never thought I could do it. I thought I liked meat too much. I was really conditioned. I started getting into riot grrrl and some punk my first year of college. I didn’t even know it was called “riot grrrl” back then.

Anyways, after lots and lots of questioning – still questioning and searching I arrive at who I am today. I am still growing and am not the final product by any means. Maybe the next step in the evolution is to go vegan because I can’t stand what they do to the animals. Life is life and precious. I have no right to decide if certain animals like pets should have a life of luxury while others have hell simply because they make stuff I like to eat.